I typed names into Facebook.

Names of people I was supposed to be related to. People I had never met. Just a few names and a search bar. So I started typing. And I asked my mother. Yeah.

<h2>Growing up with half a map</h2>

To be honest, I grew up without a big part of my family. My mother is Dutch. But the Italian side was a blank for me.

What I did know was this. My grandfather came from the south of Italy to Germany to work in the mines. With that money he bought a snack-bar van. My father started working in it when he was sixteen. That was the story, in pieces, and I never got the whole picture. You know that feeling when you are missing a part of your own family tree? Yeah. That.

<blockquote>I did not wait for somebody to hand me my roots. I went and looked.</blockquote>

<figure><img src="https://ezycourse.b-cdn.net/2104/cmv0k3fh30cq301z6c5hv4w85.jpg" alt="Chenzo in profile in an open doorway in warm sunlight, looking outside." style="width:100%;max-width:440px;border-radius:12px;display:block;margin:20px auto;"/></figure>

<h2>Too much for one side, too little for the other</h2>

So I went to Italy.

For the first time, I got to know my family. And it was like finding a puzzle piece of my character.

What stayed with me was this. For Dutch people, I was too intensely emotional. For Italians, I was actually too down-to-earth. So which one is it? Both. I am both. Too much in one place and not enough in another. That is what it meant: I was made of two places.

<h2>What I took from it</h2>

Three things, and I mean them.

You can go and look. Nobody has to give you permission to find your own family. I started with a few names and a search bar.

A part of you that never fit where you grew up might belong somewhere else. Not a flaw. A piece that was waiting for its other half.

And you are allowed to be a mix. &quot;Too intense&quot; and &quot;too down-to-earth&quot; are not verdicts. They are descriptions of someone who comes from more than one place.

<h2>If a part of your story is missing</h2>

Here is a small thing you can do this week. Write down every name from your family that you know. Even if it is three. Then pick one and look for them. Ask somebody. Type it in. See what happens.

I do not know what you will find. I know what it did for me. It gave me a piece of myself I did not know I was missing.

<figure><img src="https://ezycourse.b-cdn.net/2104/cmv0k3g3e0cqi01z6acd1h2s3.jpg" alt="Chenzo leaning against a wooden post in a garden, smiling softly at the camera." style="width:100%;max-width:440px;border-radius:12px;display:block;margin:20px auto;"/></figure>

So anyway. I typed names into Facebook, and that is how it started.

If you want to talk about the parts of your story that are missing or do not fit, you can <a href="https://cal.com/chenzoholisticcoaching/free-30-min-online-discovery-session-discover-your-next-step">book a free discovery call</a> with me. Thirty minutes, no pressure.

With love, Chenzo Holistic Coaching Founder of The Purpose Path Podcast

I grew up without half of my family. Then I typed a few names into Facebook and found a piece of my character I did not know was missing.

Finding My Italian Family: The Missing Piece of Me

The Day I Found the Missing Puzzle Piece of My Character

Read essays on somatic healing, emotional trauma, sensitivity, and finding purpose. Written by Chenzo, holistic coach, empathic healer, tarot reader, and founder of The Purpose Path Podcast. New posts weekly.


Chenzo Holistic Coaching Blog: Somatic Healing, Sensitivity & Purpose

Read essays on somatic healing, emotional trauma, sensitivity, and finding purpose. Written by Chenzo, holistic coach, empathic healer, tarot reader, and founder of The Purpose Path Podcast. New posts weekly.

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The Day I Found the Missing Puzzle Piece of My Character

The Day I Found the Missing Puzzle Piece of My Character

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