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Perhaps it happens in the evening, when there is less to do. You reach for your phone, open an app, then realize you cannot remember what you wanted to look at.
That can be a moment to pause. You do not need to decide that every distraction hides a problem. You can simply ask what is happening for you right now.
Are you bored? Sad? Restless? Looking for company? The answer may be clear, or it may take a little time. “I don't know yet” is an honest place to begin.
In Break the Cycle, one reflection asks you to observe the trigger, the body signal and the story. It is a way of describing an experience before judging yourself for it.
Start with what you notice
Write down what was happening just before you reached for the familiar habit. Keep to what you can actually remember. A message arrived. The room became quiet. A difficult conversation ended.
Next, notice what you feel in your body. You might have a word for the sensation or simply a place where you notice it. There is no need to make the answer fit someone else's description.
Then write the thought that showed up. Use your own words. If you cannot identify a thought, record that too. The exercise is an observation, rather than a test you have to pass.
Over a few days, you may have something more specific to reflect on than “I always do this.” You will have notes about particular moments, which you can bring into the rest of the work.
Name the story without making it your identity
Another lesson asks you to pause, name the familiar story, and question whether it has served you well. That might mean noticing the sentence “I deserve this,” or “Nothing will change anyway.”
Writing a sentence down gives you something concrete to examine. You can ask whether it describes the whole situation and whether you want it to guide your next choice.
You do not need to attack yourself for having the thought. The point is to recognize the words you have been responding to.
Choose a practice before the difficult moment
The body-tools lesson asks you to become familiar with your chosen practices ahead of time. Read through the options and select what you want to explore. Practice during an ordinary moment, rather than expecting to learn everything when you feel distressed.
The emotional-awareness lesson also makes a useful distinction: noticing is not the same as trying to release everything. You can name a feeling without forcing an explanation or searching for an old memory.
If a practice becomes overwhelming, stop. The course approach makes room for returning to the ground and reaching out, rather than pushing through.
Make room for another person
You do not have to turn reflection into another task you must manage alone. The connection lessons ask you to identify someone who could help you stay with the work and consider reaching out.
You can begin with a simple sentence about what you notice or what kind of support you would appreciate. You do not need a complete explanation before having a conversation.
What could you notice about the moment before your next familiar reaction?
<h3>Listen to The Purpose Path Podcast</h3><div style="position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UQMreB557H4" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:0;border-radius:12px;" allowfullscreen loading="lazy"></iframe></div>
More episodes and free resources: <a href="https://www.chenzoholisticcoaching.com/en/the-purpose-path-podcast">The Purpose Path Podcast</a> and <a href="https://www.chenzoholisticcoaching.com">chenzoholisticcoaching.com</a>.
With love, Chenzo Holistic Coaching Founder of The Purpose Path Podcast

Perhaps it happens in the evening, when there is less to do. You reach for your phone, open an app, then realize you cannot remember what you wanted to look at.

How You Can Notice a Difficult Feeling Before Reacting

Read essays on somatic healing, emotional trauma, sensitivity, and finding purpose. Written by Chenzo, holistic coach, empathic healer, tarot reader, and founder of The Purpose Path Podcast. New posts weekly.


Chenzo Holistic Coaching Blog: Somatic Healing, Sensitivity & Purpose

Read essays on somatic healing, emotional trauma, sensitivity, and finding purpose. Written by Chenzo, holistic coach, empathic healer, tarot reader, and founder of The Purpose Path Podcast. New posts weekly.

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How You Can Notice a Difficult Feeling Before Reacting

How You Can Notice a Difficult Feeling Before Reacting

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