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You are sitting in your car in the driveway. The engine is off. The silence is actually peaceful, not heavy. For the first time in months, your chest feels open. You had a good week. You stayed sober, you didn't yell at your partner, and you actually slept six hours straight.
Then, a cold feeling creeps up your spine.
Suddenly, you get the urge to text that one person who always drains you. Or you find yourself opening an app to look at things you swore you were done with. Maybe you just start a pointless argument over a dirty dish the moment you walk through the front door.
You are about to ruin a perfectly good Tuesday.
Do you know that feeling? That strange, urgent need to throw a rock through the window of your own peace.
It is not because you are stupid. It is not because you are broken.
The monkey mind wants you to give up right when you're closest. When life gets quiet and good, the nervous system gets confused. If you grew up in a house where the other shoe was always about to drop, chaos became your normal state. Peace feels like danger. Your body is waiting for the explosion, so it decides to light the fuse itself just to get the waiting over with.
Most people try to fight this with willpower. They write affirmations on the mirror. They tell themselves to just be happy.
That does not work. You cannot think your way home. You have to feel your way home.
When you try to force yourself to feel happy when your body feels threatened by the peace, the tension only grows. The mind is not always your friend. It tells you that you do not deserve this quiet. It tells you that you are going to mess it up anyway, so you might as well do it now on your own terms.
What actually helps is stopping at the exact moment the urge to destroy comes up.
Do it at the moment the pain comes up. Not later. Not in a scheduled therapy slot. Right there.
When you feel that itch to text the ex, to buy the bottle, or to pick the fight, stop. Put your hand on your chest. Feel the tightness. Say to yourself, "I am safe in this quiet."
You are training your body to tolerate goodness. It takes practice.
I worked with a man last year who had this exact pattern. Every time his business started making real money, he would go on a three-day bender and turn his phone off. He lost clients, lost trust, and had to build it all back up. He thought he was just self-destructive.
In our session, we did not talk about business strategies. We went to the root.
"When was the first time you felt this? As a child? What was the situation?" I asked him.
He remembered being eight years old. Every time he got a good report card, his father would find a reason to scream at him to keep him humble. The kid learned that success brought pain.
We changed the story right there. We let his body realize that his father was not in the room anymore. He walked out of that ninety minute session looking like a different person. He didn't need months of talking. He just needed to find the key.
You don't have to start all over again if you slip up. But you can also choose to stay in the quiet today.
Which one hits closest for you? Tell me in the comments.
If you are ready to look deeper, book a free 30 minute discovery call. Link in bio.
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More episodes and free resources: <a href="https://www.chenzoholisticcoaching.com/en/the-purpose-path-podcast">The Purpose Path Podcast</a> and <a href="https://www.chenzoholisticcoaching.com">chenzoholisticcoaching.com</a>.
With love, Chenzo Holistic Coaching Founder of The Purpose Path Podcast

You are sitting in your car in the driveway. The engine is off. The silence is actually peaceful, not heavy. For the first time in months, your chest feels open

The urge to break things when they finally start to go right

Read essays on somatic healing, emotional trauma, sensitivity, and finding purpose. Written by Chenzo, holistic coach, empathic healer, tarot reader, and founder of The Purpose Path Podcast. New posts weekly.


Chenzo Holistic Coaching Blog: Somatic Healing, Sensitivity & Purpose

Read essays on somatic healing, emotional trauma, sensitivity, and finding purpose. Written by Chenzo, holistic coach, empathic healer, tarot reader, and founder of The Purpose Path Podcast. New posts weekly.

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The urge to break things when they finally start to go right

The urge to break things when they finally start to go right

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